Have a Merry Men Independence Day
by Rebecca and her Pancakes
Summary: Stephanie agrees to help Ella with the annual Rangeman Cookout. It's a very... interesting Fourth of July.


**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to use them for my own evil, sometimes**

I sighed as I entered the grocery store. I had a whole business to feed on the Fourth of July this year. Most years I sat at home and watched the fireworks from my fire escape, but this year Ella had somehow managed to get me to help her with the annual "Rangeman Cookout".

Apparently, Ranger hosted a big party on the beach for all the guys that didn't have a home to go to or who didn't want to go home. Ella informed me that most of the guys went, just to see Ranger pig out. She also let me know that once the guys heard I was going to be there, every one of them signed up to come.

Originally, I was going to hang out on the beach with the few Merry Men who were staying, but once all of them decided to appear, Ella pleaded with me, saying she needed extra helping hands to feed all of the beasts. I probably would've helped anyway, once I saw she needed it, but now I was in charge of shopping as well.

I pushed my cart into the store and consulted the list of items I needed to buy, provided by Ella. First on the list was charcoal I maneuvered my cart to that isle and leaned over to grab the three bags I would need, when I heard a whistle.

"Hey, Steph! You coming to the police department barbecue on the beach this year? I know you and Joe are on the off-again phase, but there are plenty of other hot prospects you could hit it off with."

Big Dog, my old friend Eddie Gazara's partner on the force waggled his eyebrows at me. Laughing, I hauled the bags into the cart.

"No, not this year. I'm helping Ranger with his barbecue."

Big Dog's smile faded. "Oh really? Are you two together now?"

"No, it was a favor to his housekeeper. I'm as single as they come!"

That was a little white lie. Lester had been making a lot of excuses to find time to hang around me. He had even asked me on a date, which I accepted. I hadn't heard from Ranger since then, and the day after we went on the date, Lester arrived with a black eye and a cast on his right arm. When I asked him how he got it, he said he fell down the stairwell on the sixth floor. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he mumbled something that sounded like "Yeah, fell with a little bit of help."

"Well, that's good, Steph. Joe's been moaning about how he misses you at the office every day. Terri Gilman even tried to cheer him up. It didn't work. Hey, I'll catch you later, okay?"

I stood there dumbfounded. Joe and Terri Gilman? Wait, this wasn't any of my business. We weren't a couple.

I glanced down at the list, seeing what was next. Paper plates, plastic cups, plastic utensils, and napkins. I tossed them all in my cart, moving down my list. Hot dogs, hamburgers, relish, pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, cheese, bacon, salad, potato salad, macaroni salad, beans, apple pie, cherry pie, strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream, apples, grapes, strawberries, rocket popsicles. I double checked on the last one and saw that the handwriting looked suspiciously like Binkie's. I guess he liked to be a kid again.

Once I had gathered all the food and beverages like every soda you could think of, plus all kids of tea and coffee, I headed to the checkout line. Eddie Gazara's wife, my cousin Shirley, was behind the counter.

"I didn't know you worked here! It's nice to see you again." I said, arranging all my items on the counter.

"Oh, I don't! It's a volunteer job, being as they're so busy this time of year, I guess this is all for the department barbecue?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm helping Ranger out with his barbecue. And before you ask, no, we're not dating. It's a favor to his housekeeper."

She nodded. "I wouldn't want to be around Joe after what he did with Terri Gilman either, honey. All the department wives were horrified."

I blinked. "Joe and I broke up last week. He's single and free to do what he wants."

Shirley looked astonished. "I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this, because I thought you know. Terri and he were… Before last week. Quite a few times before. We thought that's why you and he broke up."

Now it was my turn to look astonished. She patted my back sympathetically. "I… Thank you, Shirley. I have to go now."

Loading all of the groceries in the car, I made two phone calls. One to the Rangeman control room, to tell them to send a man down to get the car and bring Lester with him. Next, to Lula. I told her my plan and she said she'd be there in five minutes. I sat down on the curb, waiting.

The longer I waited, the more I had time to think and the angrier I got. Lula screeched to a halt just a second before a black Ford Explorer slid to a halt. Tank, Lester, and Bobby all jumped out and ran to me, Lula right behind them.

Bobby looked me over, asking me questions, trying to determine what was wrong with me.

"Bobby, I'm fine! Tank, drive the car back to Rangeman and deliver the groceries to Ella. Lester, Lula, get in the car."

Tank and Bobby stood looking seriously confused. I took the keys to the explorer from Tank and hopped into the driver's seat, sending up a little prayer that I could get this car back in one piece. Lula slid into the front seat while Lester took the back.

As I pulled away from the curb, I noticed Tank answer his phone. He shrugged and started talking to whoever was on the other end. I heard him say "… Just took the explorer and drove away…" before I was out of earshot.

I held out my hand to Lester. "Give me your phone." Fumbling to get it out of his pocket, he handed it to me and got out "Why…?" before it started ringing. Flipping the phone open, I answered Ranger with a "We're busy.", and then hung up. Two seconds late, it started ringing again. I ignored it. It rang again and I rolled down my window, tossed the phone out, and said, "Woman in charge. Everyone shut the frig up. Okay, Lester, Here's what's going on. Joe cheated on me, and now I'm going to beat the crap out of him, yell, and stomp my foot. You're here because you're my boyfriend now and I need your support. Got it?"

Lester looked as if someone had hit him across the face, and then gave him the best news of his life. His face displayed anger, then surprise, then elation. He cracked his knuckles.

Careening to a halt on the curb of the police department, I opened the door forcefully and stomped into the building. I marched into Joe's office and grabbed him by the ear. "Steph! Cupcake, I missed you!" He was babbling all the way to the parking lot.

I released his ear and slapped him across the face, hard. While he had stopped talking, I said in a deadly calm voice, "Don't. Ever. Call. Me. That. Again."

He was about to say something, but before I could I jerked my knees into the "boys". He let out a breath of air, doubling over.

"You think you can cheat on me with Terri Gilman and I wouldn't find out or care? Come on Joe, if you're going to trade in, at least upgrade." The crowd of law enforcement that had gathered around us laughed at that. "I never want to see your face again. Don't bring me pizza, don't bring me beer, or come to any places where I blew up a car. Every time you think of me, look at Terri Gilman. That's what you get now. Because you are about to watch the best part of your life walk away."

I turned on my heel and walked away with my nose in my air. Lula spit on him and Lester picked him up by the neck of his shirt and punched him square in the nose.

"There you go, Beautiful. Morelli, don't ever look at or touch my girl again." He caught up with me and held my hand as we walked away.

"You all saw that! He assaulted me!" Morelli screeched.

Carl Costanza, a friend of mine, started laughing. "Jeez, Morelli, all I saw was you walk into your office door. You really should be more careful."

The other officers nodded in agreement, laughing. Eddie walked over to me, saying that the footage form out here is so grainy anyway; no one would care if it went missing. I smiled at him.

"Thanks, Eddie. Oh, your squad is welcome to join food and forces with Rangeman this Fourth of July. Joe excluded, of course."

Eddie looked at Lester. "I guess Rangeman isn't that bad, after all. I'll take you up on that offer. I'm sure most of the squad will, too. See you tonight, Steph."

Lula started talking the moment we got in the car. "Girl, that was something amazing! I didn't know you had it in you! And you got yourself a hottie while you were at it. Me and Connie are invited to the barbecue too, right?"

I told her she definitely was. After dropping her off at her car, Lester crawled into the front seat and I checked my phone. 24 missed calls. 14 from Ranger, 10 from my mother. I looked at the phone for a minute, before chucking it out the window. Lester burst out laughing, winding his fingers through mine.

We drove back to the Rangeman garage, talking about everything. When the gate opened and we pulled in, all of the men where there, cheering. They congratulated us and said how great my kick was and how their balls crawled up in terror just by looking at it.

"My office. Now. Both of you." Ranger's voice boomed over everyone else's. Lester and I shared a look, grabbed hands and walked into his office. He shut the door and gestured for us to sit down.

"So. You don't answer my phone calls. You abuse a cop in front of a hundred people. And now you guys are dating."

"Ranger, Lester and I are going to give it a try. You know that we could never work, you and I. You have too many secrets you aren't willing to tell, and for a relationship to work there has to be honesty. At least, as much as the government will allow. And I invited the force over tonight. I didn't answer the phone because I had to end it with Morelli before I chickened out."

Ranger looked down at the table. When he looked up he was smiling. "All right. I'm glad you guys are happy. And to be honest, Morelli got what he deserved. It'll be nice to have the force here, though."

We all looked at the desk. I was the first one to speak up.

"I'm going to go get changed now, guys. I'll see you both tonight."

Lester and Ranger did that complicated handshake thing guys do. We all departed, heading towards our apartments to get ourselves freedom-i-fied.

Five hours later, dusk was arriving. I was dressed on jeans and a red, white, and blue, shirt with a big floppy American flag hat Binkie insisted I wear. I was right; he did like being a kid.

Ella and I were cooking and serving drinks. The entire police department was there, except Morelli. Turns out that they brought beer, and lots of it. They were mingling with the Merry Men, seeming comfortable and happy. Lester came up to me and slipped his arm around my waist.

"Have you eaten anything yet?"

"No, you guys have an endless appetite. Ranger especially! It's between him and Big Dog. I'm not sure who's eaten more. It could be a tie."

He put a hot dog together for me, placing it in my hand. "Eat, this whole friendly party atmosphere is because of you, you know. The guys are enjoying themselves and they're actually getting along with the law. I think you should be proud of yourself."

Our heads turned in the direction of cheering. Big Dog was waving his white napkin in a sign of surrender to Ranger, who was stuffing a hot dog in his mouth. The guys on the force looked dejected, and the Merry Men were exchanging high fives and slapping Ranger on the back. I smiled. Turning to Lester, I said, "This feels like home. I think that this is a family. This is _my _family." He was about to reply when we heard a shriek.

Everyone was looking at Lula, who was holding the broken heel of one shoe in her hand. "This is why I hate the beach!"

Grandma Mazur poked hear head out from behind Lula, followed by Connie who was holding more beer. The guys let out a shout. My mom, dad, sister, brother in law, and their three children joined them.

My mom took a deep breath. "Stephanie dear, I hope we're not intruding. I heard about Joseph and tried to call you. Everyone was silent. They knew how my mother felt about Joe Morelli. "I think it was the right thing to do, break it off. My little girl deserves better than some cheating dog."

I smiled and pulled her in for a hug. She looked surprised. "Thanks, mom. This is Lester. I think you're going to like him."

They walked over to him, one part of my family heading over to meet the other part. Grandma Mazur looked like she was in heaven with all the hot guys. As they talked and introductions were made, I looked up. I was so blessed to have these people in my life.

Ranger appeared next to me. "It's a beautiful thing, what you did. You brought people together. "He slung his arm around my shoulders. "You made this the best Fourth of July I've ever had, Babe." He placed a friendly kiss on my forehead just as the fireworks began to go off. He was right. This was the best Fourth of July.

**A/N: I hope you guys don't mind the Lester/Stephanie pairing. I just didn't want to make this a Babe or Cupcake fic, but I wanted her to have _someone_. I always appreciate reviews. They make my day. :)**


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